Gonzo Sports Digest; weird news roundup

You spot some crazy shit when you trawl the internet every day looking for a good story, here is some of the best stuff I’ve seen this week.

The Nantes president can make your cock bigger

Nantes are going pretty well in Ligue 1, they may be down in eighth but a Champions League spot isn’t completely out of the question with just six points separating third placed Lyon from Bastia in 10th. Away from the pitch club president and cunning entrepreneur Waldemar Kita has embarked on a new venture – penoplasty.

From what I can gather via my admittedly rudimentary French and Google translate (which I never completely trust, the nuance of a language gets a little lost), a wrinkle cream he made his fortune from has another and potentially much more profitable use – it makes penises bigger and is also a treatment for premature ejaculation.  He also says he knows athletes who have tried it (which would be a hilarious way to fail a drugs test if any banned substance are present, I doubt it but there’s always hope) and the ‘Chinese are very eager’, whatever they mean by that.

So if your lap-hog is more of a piglet, maybe a trip to the Stade de la Beaujoire could be on the agenda before taking a lady back to the boudoir.

Original article (en Francais) via le JDD.

Angry woman hijacks Hartlepool United coach’s Twitter

Hartlepool United coach Sam Collins might want to have a word with Kita as the post ‘I also have a very small penis’ appeared on his Twitter account.

It wasn’t a case of oversharing though, instead it seems as if his wife got wind of an affair and decided to commandeer his Twitter. I’d imagine she probably regrets it now though, because airing your dirty laundry is never a good idea.

If you want to read about the ‘male slag’ (did it need the word ‘male’?) check out The Mirror’s article.

Benoit Assou-Ekotto gets his boots on ebay

One man who certainly isn’t a slag is former Spurs and current Saint-Etienne man Benoit Assou-Ekotto.  The French-born former Cameroon international won’t accept free sportswear or ‘prostitute’ himself to companies so he gets his boots on ebay.  Fair play to him, I’d be all over the freebies myself, although Joe Hart might have gone a bit too far with that horrendous shampoo advert – what the fuck was he thinking?

Assou-Ekotto’s Canal+ interview as reported by Goal.

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