Gonzo Sports Digest; Doncaster Rovers, One Direction and Daniel Sturridge

Life can be a bit like a blind date, regardless of the initial level of promise having an exit strategy or fallback plan is a necessity.  Mine is to wait until I’m old enough to no longer be seen as a threat, at which point I’ll become a con artist. Not one of these Daily Mail fodder types stealing pensions and whatnot, more the lovable rogue you don’t mind being hoodwinked by. Currently I’m speeding up the aging process by drinking excessively and regularly so I can realise my dream sooner. It’s a winner.

One Direction have the world at their feet at the moment (sort of anyway, they’ve probably got a few more millions to make after this hiatus) but Louis Tomlinson is already thinking about his next move – designing football kits.  Daniel Sturridge has gone the other way as apparently a hip hop career beckons after his playing career is over but we’ll start with 1D.

Doncaster Rovers and Louis Tomlinson

Donny native Tomlinson entered the competition to design Rovers kit with his granddad in what could have been a sickeningly sweet narrative, but it hasn’t quite worked out that way.  Understandably many see it as some kind of fix, perhaps a marketing ploy to sell more shirts to young girls blinded by their love for the world’s hottest boy band or orchestrated internally due to his links with the club (he’s played for the reserve team in the past).

I’ve got no idea whether it was contrived or not and in fairness it is a pretty decent strip but I do have one question; isn’t he a little bit too old to be entering a design your club’s kit competition?  Louis Tomlinson is 24, a father and a millionaire for Harry Styles’ sake. There are probably some kids out there in South Yorkshire gutted that they didn’t win, he’s stealing all the happiness. Even if it is totally legit some credibility has been lost there, or it would have been if any of his hardcore fans were of legal drinking age.

As a club Doncaster probably didn’t handle it too well either.  To announce the One Direction star’s winning design they went with the headline ‘Top of the Tops’, a reference that probably doesn’t carry much weight for the vast majority of Directioners and seems kind of lame and way too obvious to anyone who does remember ‘Top of the Pops’.

(Louis Tomlinson, his granddad and the club have all denied it was in any way a set-up, he also isn’t accepting the prize, a free holiday to Thailand)

Liverpool’s Daniel Sturridge fancies himself as a producer

While Louis Tomlinson is a frustrated footballer, Liverpool striker Daniel Sturridge has musical aspirations.  The England international did an interview for Highsnobiety and hinted he could be tempted by some musical endeavours, then the NME ran with it and made a bit more of his comments than perhaps he intended.

Anyway, he lists Drake and Kanye West as guys he admires so whatever he’s got planned chances are it isn’t going to be too groundbreaking.  He also refers to 50 Cent as a ‘legend from way back’ which makes me feel kind of old even though we’re a similar age, I’d be sticking Public Enemy and The Pharcyde in that category myself and I’m not even sure whether Eminem falls into it (the way back part, not the legend part). I’m with him on Jordans though, Sturridge is a man who knows his kicks.

Further Reading;

‘Top of the Tops’

BBC reaction piece to the Doncaster kit



Follow/abuse us on Twitter @GonzoSportsDesk, we’re not fancy we follow back.


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